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A routine morning for psycho Raab: 50 press-ups and a fumbled interview | John Crace

The justice secretary was in a broadcast studio again explaining why yet another party wasn’t one

5.30am. The alarm goes off. Dominic Raab is awake almost immediately. He’s always been a light sleeper. Dom gets out of bed and cranks out 50 press ups, the veins on his arms bulging pleasingly. He’s always prided himself on having the best guns in cabinet.

Raab strips off and wanders naked towards the bathroom. There’s nothing he likes more than an ice-cold shower. As the water pounds his body, he checks for tell-tale signs. Sure enough, there are traces of blood under his finger nails. He must have been on another killing spree the night before. The anger management course really is proving worse than useless. He tries to remember where he had been so he could retrace his steps and remove the evidence, but his mind is a blank. More bodies to add to the cold case count. Just as well the police now only investigate crimes that have yet to be committed. Psycho Killer. Qu’est-ce que c’est?

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from The Guardian https://ift.tt/30IWQdm
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