The chancellor painted a picture of Britain most people didn’t recognise and gave spending promises he had no idea how to pay for
Not so much a budget speech, more a hostage video. This wasn’t quite the hour of glory Brand Rishi had imagined for himself when he’d begun writing his third budget. Yes, he’d gone through the motions of having his teeth whitened for the numerous photo opportunities. Yes, he’d worn white socks and sliders. He’d even had days of people talking all about him as he leaked most of the contents of his budget in a series of coordinated email drops.
But he still couldn’t fool himself. His heart just wasn’t in it. Because when he’d gone in to show Boris Johnson what he had in mind, the prime minister had just ripped 90% of it up. “This just won’t do at all. You’ve hardly spent a thing,” Boris Bertie Booster had said, before handing him an entirely new speech. “Here’s what you’re going to say instead.”
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